Abstinence trend “Only Kirkby Kissing before Marriage” sweeping Merseyside

Posted On: 12/10/2015

By: Carl Connor

A new form of Abstinence has become popular practice of religious adolescents in Sefton.

In order to keep themselves pure for their wedding night, many young adults have made a pact to only engage in Kirkby Kissing before marriage.

Many practitioners have said that “Nothing gets rid of your urges like getting butted square in the face”.


Religious Teens are saving themselves for Marriage by promising to only Kirkby Kiss until they’re wed.

Medical professionals are concerned about the activity, with cases of broken noses and fractured skulls rising significantly.

Dentists, on the other hand, welcome the move, as they now have more work replacing lost teeth.

Similar to the abstinence rings worn by many to symbolise the promise they have made, practitioners of Kirkby Kissing identify themselves by wearing a T-Shirt featuring the face of French ex-International Footballer Zinedine Zidane.

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